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Updated: Nov 12, 2022

Where does self-love come from?

It's a question that many of us have asked at one point or another. And the answer is simple: it comes from within. We can find it within ourselves, and we can also learn how to practice self-love from others who are masters at it.

But what about people who are afraid to admit they suffer from self-love? Why would someone be so afraid to admit something as simple as that? The answer is complex, but there are three main reasons why someone might be afraid to admit their struggle with self-love:

The first reason is because people often feel that if they admit they suffer from something like this, then other people will look down on them for being weak or incapable. But in reality, the opposite is true—admitting you have a problem is actually a sign of strength! It shows that you're willing to face your fears head-on rather than running away from them or ignoring them entirely.

The second reason why people might be afraid to admit their struggle with self-love is because they don't want others to know how flawed they are—they think they should always be able to handle everything on their own without needing any help from anyone else (even though deep down inside.

The third reason why people might be afraid to admit their struggle with self-love is because it makes them feel like they are not good enough—like they need to do something more in order to earn the love of others, or even themselves (the truth is that all you really need is just love yourself).

In this blog article I’m going to dive into the why and what of this phenomenon. I am going to share with you some of my learning and how it has impacted my life, and I will also be sharing with you some tips on how we can all start to love ourselves more.

Why do we not love ourselves? Why is it that we don't feel good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough why we obsessed with our weight.

The answer is complex and varied, but I believe it boils down to the fact that most of us were never taught how to love ourselves.

Another reason could be we're all brainwashed. We've been taught from a young age that we need to be a certain size, and that if we're not, it's our fault—and if it's our fault, then we should feel bad about it. well, it's time to stop feeling bad about us! It's time to stop letting other people's opinions of us dictate how we feel about ourselves. It's time to start loving ourselves for who we are and what makes us unique—because there's no one else out there exactly like you!

We live in a world that tells us that we need to be thin, beautiful, and smart. We're told that we need to look good enough to get the job, or pretty enough for the guy or girl of our dreams. We're told that if we don't succeed at being perfect, then we aren't worth anything.

And it's true—you are worth something! You are worth so much more than what people say you are worth. You are beautiful and smart and talented and amazing, and the only person who can tell you otherwise is YOURSELF.

But it’s hard to believe that when you hear the same thing over and over again. It can be easy to start believing the lies people say about you, especially if they are the only ones saying them. And the truth is: People will always have something to say. If they don't like you, they'll let you know. If they do like you, they'll let you know that too. And if people are saying negative things about you—well, that's just their opinion! Don't take it as fact or allow it to affect who you are or what you value about yourself.

We spend so much time worrying about what other people think of us, or what they'll think if they find out something about us. We spend so much time trying to impress people and make them like us, rather than just focusing on being our best selves.

What I learned is that most people are struggling with the same issues as you. They're just too busy trying to look good in front of others or pretend like the strong and they can handle everything without people knowing the are struggling inside or the reflect their insecurities to you, instead of dealing with their own trauma and self love.

So, don't waste time and energy trying to impress other people. Instead, learn how to love yourself so that you can be your best self. but that's not all we also spend time criticizing ourselves, talking badly about ourselves, and wishing for things, the other people have that we don't have. We're constantly comparing ourselves to other people, which leads us to believe that we're not good enough.

But what if I told you that nobody is perfect? And what if I told you that being perfect isn't the goal anyway?

We need to be aware of the people in our life who are distracting us from getting our full potential and goals. If a certain group of friends is always talking about how fat or ugly you are, then maybe it's time to find some new friends who will support your goals. If a certain family member is always telling you that you aren't good enough, then maybe it's time to cut ties with them and surround yourself with positive people instead.

Self-love isn't just about loving yourself—it's about being able to recognize when others aren't treating you well and making changes accordingly. Self-love is about taking care of yourself. It means looking after your physical, mental, and emotional health. It means eating healthy food, exercising regularly (I’m still working on that one) and getting enough sleep (and that one)—all things that will make you feel happier with your life overall.


When I learned how to be my own best friend, I become more confident in who I am as an individual and this confidence translates into greater success in things, I was fearful to try.The more confident I got my decisions making and actions, were rewarding and fulfilling.

Becoming my own best friend did not happen overnight—it took me many years’ time and effort to become comfortable with who I am as an individual. But I promise, you will see results that make all the work worth it.

If you're looking to improve your confidence, self-love and control over your life, here are some exercises that can help:

1. Learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. This means doing things that make you feel awkward or uncomfortable. It can be as simple as talking to someone who intimidates you or ordering food at a restaurant when you don't know what they're serving.

2. Give yourself permission to fail. If you're trying something new, and it doesn't work out exactly right the first time, give yourself a break. Don't let yourself beat yourself up over it or tell yourself that it's because there is something wrong with you (hint: there isn't). Just try again!

3. Stop comparing yourself to others (or at least try not to compare in terms of negative qualities). We all have different strengths and weaknesses; focus on what makes YOU great!

4. Be kind to yourself when things aren't going well—you deserve it!

5. Exercise regularly - Exercise helps release endorphins which make you feel happy and relaxed! Plus it makes your body look great! So get out there and sweat!

Self-love is a tricky thing. It's easy to feel like it's something you're lacking, but it's so hard to figure out how to get it.

I know that feeling. I've struggled with self-love for most of my life. And I know that there are a lot of people who feel like they're not good enough or don't deserve love—and it doesn't make sense! How can we expect others to love us if we don't love ourselves? It doesn't work like that.

But here's the thing: you are absolutely worthy of love, and there are plenty of ways for you to develop self-love and confidence in your own abilities. You just need to find what works for you! And that might be different than what works for someone else—because everyone is different!

I am going to share one of my favourite exercises feel free to use it :

Write down a list of things you like about yourself. Write down three things every day for one week, then look back at those lists each day and remind yourself why those things matter (and why you should keep doing them).

Make time for meditation or yoga every day. Even if it's just ten minutes, those moments will help keep you focused and Zen.

Self-love is something that takes practice, but the good news is that there are so many ways to do it.

Here are some more best practice to help you with :

1. Start small. If you've never been someone who has thought about themselves as worthy of love and respect, it can feel overwhelming to suddenly start treating yourself as if you were worth loving. So start small! Give yourself a pat on the back for getting out of bed and making it to work on time, or for taking a walk around the block before bedtime. These small acts of self-nurturance help build a habit that will get bigger over time.

2. Make sure you have time for yourself every day—even if it's just five minutes at first! Be kind to yourself by carving out some space in your busy life where you can listen to music or take a bath without worrying about what needs doing next. Having this space will help remind you that taking care of yourself isn't selfish—it's important!

3. Learn how to say no when people ask you for favors or make unreasonable demands of your time or energy reserves (which are also pretty limited). Protecting yourself from others' expectations is an act of self-love because it helps keep your own needs at.

I hope I was able to shade some light on dealing with self love and the idea of being afraid to admit your struggle with it. If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to leave them below.


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Gary Harper
Gary Harper
Apr 05, 2023

To love and respect yourself is the very most important things we need to do. As Whitney Houston sang in her Hit song is "The Greatest Love of all is happening to Me" and if you really don't love yourself...know one really can fully love you. Well written :-)


Gary Harper
Gary Harper
Mar 21, 2023

Love this and could not agree more ❤️

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