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IS LOVE YOUR DRUG OF CHOICE?

Love is a drug, and for many people, it's the best kind of high there is: the euphoria of an infatuation that feels like heaven on earth. In fact, many people fall so hard for their new relationships that they can't imagine life without the person who makes them feel this way. I'm going to take a step back now and ask you to think about that statement, take in how much you may or may not agree with it.

It's important that you recognize here how your love can be described as a drug, because if you want to get over being blinded by love, this is crucial.

Love is a drug, and it can be an addictive one. When you're in love, there's nothing that can compare to the feeling of euphoria you get from being with someone who makes you feel like everything is right in the world. You may find yourself thinking about your new partner all day at work or school, and when they call or text message, your heart flutters like never before.


The relationship has become the focus of your life because it makes you happy; this is what happens when someone uses their love as leverage against another person. The more you love someone, the harder it is to see them as they really are. You can't see past their faults because they become less important than what you feel for them. This makes it easy for someone who's using love as a tool to manipulate you into doing whatever they want. How do you know if someone is using love as leverage against you?

The first and most obvious sign is when they treat you differently around their friends than they do when they're alone with you. If your partner constantly puts down other people, even strangers, in front of their friends then there's a good chance that their opinion means more to them than yours does. Another clue is if your partner often complains about how many problems they have in their life, but never does anything to fix them. If your partner is constantly whining about how bad things are but doesn't lift a finger to change them then it's likely that they're using their problems as an excuse for why they can't be happy.


Some people believe they can't be happy without romantic love. That's not true happiness is a choice and loving yourself first is the only way to be happy. You are worthy; you just must believe it.

It's not easy to accept this fact when your partner constantly undermines your self-esteem and treats you like shit. But that's what addiction is: a cycle of pain-and-pleasure that keeps you stuck in a toxic relationship long after the curtain should have closed.


For those of us who can't seem to break out of this pattern, we need to understand why this happens so we can finally move forward with our lives!

If you grew up in an environment where there was inadequate nurturing, then chances are good that you picked partners who were emotionally unavailable and unable to meet your needs as an adult. This creates a pattern where the relationship becomes a play in which to act out childhood issues that require resolution. The individual who is emotionally unavailable will typically have a history of similar relationships and may even be married to someone else. They are working through their own issues and do not want to take responsibility for their behavior. They may be afraid of commitment and will avoid it at all costs. They may also have a fear of intimacy due to past experiences with emotionally abusive parents or partners. They may come across as cold, distant, and uninterested in what you have to say.


It is important to know that you can’t change someone else. You can only change yourself. If you are in an emotionally unavailable relationship, take some time to reflect on what you want from your partner. Do they really understand what it means to be intimate with someone? If not, then maybe it’s time for them to work through their own issues before entering another relationship.


But what it means for you is that you deserve to be with someone who is available. You deserve to be loved for who you are and not for what you do (or don’t do). If your partner can’t give you the love and attention that you need, then it is time to move on. And yes, it’s not easy to break up with someone you love or think you love but sometime is the only way so you can free yourself to find the love you meant to find.

You deserve to be with someone who wants to spend time with you. You deserve to be with someone who makes time for you in their busy schedule and strives to make your relationship a priority. If they aren’t willing to do that then it isn’t fair of them to expect you to do so.


The key element here is that in healthy relationships, the partners share common goals, respect each other feelings and needs, take a creative approach to problem-solving these elements create an ideal atmosphere for resolving past issues, letting go of past grievances and moving forward as a couple. In unhealthy relationships, one partner expects the other to be responsible for their happiness. This is never fair because it places all the burden on one person. It also causes resentment in both parties when they realize that it isn’t working out. It’s not fair to expect your partner to be responsible for your happiness. It’s also not fair for you to expect yourself to be responsible for theirs. In healthy relationships, both partners work together to create a balanced and harmonious environment where they can both thrive.


There are five signs you're in an addictive relationship when:



1. You can't find a partner who's good enough for you, so you settle for someone who needs to be fixed.

2. You're always trying to fix someone else's problems.

3. You get upset when your partner doesn't do what you expect them to do, even though you don't always do what they expect from you.

4. You feel like the only way to have a great relationship is by putting other people down and making them feel bad about themselves so that they'll be nicer to you (or just go away).

5. Your relationships never last more than five minutes because your partners always leave and never come back—but they keep coming back!

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Gary Harper
Gary Harper
Apr 05, 2023

Right on Adi - I could not agree more. we need to be OK not to be in a relationship and know its OK to be on our own ..but not closed and open to a healthy respectful caring partnership :-)

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